Hits home!!!!

I recently watch a show on Anderson Copper on the topic of “Bullying”.  After a tearful, heartbreaking, sad hour of watching it, I decided to talk to my oldest child about it and ask her if anyone has bullied her at some point. To my surprise, a strong, verbal, independent young girl, my daughter was being bullied. As tears started rolling down her face, she replied, “yes, they do, but I don’t listen to them”. As I can see her heart breaking through the very soul of her eyes, my heart began to break. She kept saying “I just don’t listen
to them”. As a father, my mind started racing. What do you say to someone who is being bullied, especially to my own daughter? As I sat there trying to rationalize and make sense of it all. I could see the hurt in her face and hear the knot in her voice. As I held her hand, she squeezed mine and began to cry uncontrollably. “You are beautiful and don’t let know one tell you different, I love you with all my heart, and don’t know what I would do if you weren’t in my life”, I told her.  As a father, I prayed that I had made everything alright, that what I said, changed her whole outlook on life and herself.  I searched online and this is what I found. Please feel free to share.

by Ruth Willms
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into
problems and trials for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn
to be patient.

“And patience develops strength of
character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally
our hope and faith are strong and steady.

“Then, when that happens, we are able
to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we
know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us
because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
Romans 5: 3-5 The Living Bible

Everyone in the world has some kind of problem. Rich people, people in
powerful positions, like the president of the United States, the popular
athletic kid in your school, and even the person who’s bullying you. In fact,
the person who tries to bully you may have bigger problems than you do. Because
he doesn’t know how to handle them, he takes his anger out on you. Sometimes
bullies look so big and strong, but underneath all that show, they can be
scared wimps with poor self-esteem.

What can you do to protect yourself
from bullies and to help other kids who are being bullied?

Praying about it is always the first step. I’ve learned prayer works. Prayer
helped me as a kid and as an adult; prayer is my first line of defense. It’s
through prayer and reading your Bible that God can tell you how to deal with
your problems – like being bullied.

There are lots of stories about bullying in the Bible, but the one that
comes to my mind right now is about David and Goliath. Goliath thought he had
it all together. There was no way could an ordinary soldier, or kid like David,
could conquer him. Were he and his army in for a big surprise! David had God on
his side and it was God who gave him the idea of using his slingshot and five
small stones. It was God who gave the Israelites the victory that day by making
that little stone hit that small unprotected spot on Goliath’s forehead.

Don’t ever underestimate the power and ability that come from having God on
your side. In the Bible in 2 Chronicles chapter 16 verse 9, God says that His
eyes search back and forth across the whole earth, looking for people whose
hearts are perfect toward Him, so He can show His great power by helping them.
If you are God’s child, this means you! You may not always be perfect, but God
sees you through Jesus, who died for your sin.

You should always tell your parents or teacher or leader of the group where
you are being bullied what’s going on. Sometimes they can stop it; other times
they can teach you how to handle it. Bullying that hurts you physically should
always be stopped immediately.

It isn’t good for your parents or even your teacher to fix all your problems
for you because then you will never learn how to deal with people. This is all
part of learning people skills too. And it’s as you learn to handle your
difficulties that you grow confident and knowledgeable in all things of life;
that’s what makes you mature and capable.

Sometimes bullies pick on kids that don’t have a lot of friends, or look
like they won’t fight back. You don’t need to be popular or extra good-looking,
or be funny or tough to win over bullies. The Bible says, “My strength comes
from the Lord who made heaven and earth.” [Psalm 121: 2]

You can be strong and confident because you know God loves you unconditionally.
In the morning as you pray, ask God to prepare your day and give you wisdom so
you know how to handle each situation and problem. You have a big God – the
same one who helped David conquer Goliath. He can handle your bully too.

Going Deeper for Parents

We need to be available for our children and sensitive to their needs. Talk
with your child; ask him how things are in his world. Bullied kids can be so
intimidated they won’t even tell their fears to their parent or teacher. Ask
their siblings or classmates how your child is getting along with others.

If your child is being bullied, try to talk to the bully’s parents. Most
parents want to stop undesirable behavior in their kids and will seek help for
their child. But sometimes a parent will be in denial and become angry with you
for even suggesting that their “sweet” child is a bully. Sometimes they will
say your child deserves to be bullied, and needs to grow up.

We can’t fix every problem for our children but we can help them avoid them
and handle them in the best way possible. Sometimes the bullying only ends with
a move or when the school year ends, no matter what we do.

Build a strong relationship with your children. It’s important to teach your
children life skills and people skills so they feel competent and confident.
Spend time with them and know them. Know their friends and how they spend their
time.

Pray with your children. Read to them how God was faithful to biblical
heroes and gave them strategies to deal with their problems. Your children will
find new strength in your and God’s unconditional love.

Role play strategies with your child on how to handle bullies without
escalating the conflict so he doesn’t get hurt. Tell your child to avoid being
alone with the other child. Teach him how to get support from the other kids to
use peer pressure against the bully’s behavior.

Be your child’s advocate. Learn all the information you can by talking with
your child and with his teacher and friends and other students who observed the
bullying. Ask the teacher and principle for adult intervention. If they don’t
become involved, contact your schools superintendent. Don’t tolerate bullying
and don’t teach your child to tolerate it.

What about you? Do you feel like you can’t help your child because you are
being bullied too? Yes, adults can also be bullied.

The strategies I’ve written about also apply to you. Find a counselor or
mentor to help you look at the situation from God’s perspective. God says we
are to acknowledge Him, put Him first, in all our ways and He will direct our
paths. The action or responsibility falls on us but He is faithful as we obey.
He works it out.